Saturday, July 8, 2006, 12:18 PM - Sex, Friends
At Dengue Fever at Tangier on Thursday I could almost pretend I was back at the MakeOut - a big red room, a Dieselhed alum onstage, lots of friends and fellow Mission refugees in the audience...at least one I had no idea was down here (Jeff Palmer). I still can't confirm the rumored arrival of Case Hudson but I hope to spot him soon. I was terribly happy to have a small coterie of new LA friends to lounge around with...
This photo (thanks Betty!) is
a) surprisingly nostalgia-producing (I miss the feta)
b) slightly inaccurate - I'm a greek Mission export now I guess
c) wicked clever.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006, 06:31 PM - Sex
I seriously considered starting a melee at my dear friend Jennette's karaoke birthday party last weekend... I am slightly wistful that I didn't take advantage of the low lighting, orange walls, sake bottles that could have gone flying, microphone cords that were just begging to be wrapped around someone's neck, and utter ridiculousness of the situation. You'll be relieved to know that one well-placed dirty look did the trick, but I was secretly disappointed. It's been ages since I've been in the middle of a good scene. NEXT time I get invited to a private karaoke studio I will have been practicing a couple of pointed 'keep your hands off my man*' songs. It could be a flawed plan, since much as I'd like to pretend that my life is Bollywood-esque, I'd probably lose any objectively-judged idol-style competition.
* do let me know if you can think of songs that might be particularly appropriate in a 'keep your hands off my man, who's actually married to someone else, so obviously not exactly mine' sort of context. (did I mention the ridiculousness of the situation??) At least life is interesting.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006, 06:09 PM - Travels, Sex, Friends, Art
I talked with my former colleague Sybil yesterday - she runs the New Orleans sister site of the HIV prevention project I used to manage in SF (community-level HIV prevention for high-risk adolescents). They've been doing street intercept interviews with teenagers at nightclubs in Central City (where those 5 kids were killed over the weekend) - Sybil's had to suspend her project (again) until everything calms down. She told me that while some things haven't changed (there are still a lot of 15 year old girls in the supposedly 21-and-over clubs), most of the 'neighborhood' adolescents are driving in from Houston for the weekend to party. As far as I can tell, this implies that New Orleans is becoming a city of richer, whiter residents, and is now a short-hop tourist destination for its former underclass...which is a truly freaky demographic shift. Perhaps the national guard will start stopping carloads of black kids at the city limits?
And for something almost completely unrelated, my old friend Justin is very talented, if you didn't know. Check out Greetings From New Orleans - pre-Katrina, even more important now that found objects from New Orleans are likely mostly lost.
Thursday, June 15, 2006, 05:12 PM - Sex
Yesterday, at the Santa Monica farmer's market (where I stopped on the way home from the airport).
"Hey. Nice braces."
Thursday, May 25, 2006, 05:36 PM - Sex
Last night I had my first date in LA. Pink wine at Stella, farmer's market tomato pizza, and some tasty kisses. Before you get too exicted about all that, I'll clue you in to the fact that he's so newly separated his wife's voice is probably still on the answering machine. Which doesn't negate the thoroughly enjoyable evening...and which came in handy today when the Republican dropped the "I'm just not that into it" bomb. I've been trying to convince my friends it was coming, but they're such sweet people they didn't believe me. Oh well... I wish my instincts were wrong more often. Sunday, May 21, 2006, 07:58 PM - Sex, Politics
As some of you know, my former boss Barbara Moscicki is one of the leading HPV researchers in the world (her work with Connect to Protect was just her little side project). I'm thrilled that an HPV vaccine could be approved very soon, sparing future generations of women from much of the risk of cervical cancer. I'm worried, of course, that the FDA will ignore science in favor of right-wing fundamentalist politics and delay or deny the application, as they did when they overruled their own experts on the morning-after pill/ Plan B. It will be interesting to see if any states mandate the vaccination, as they have for several diseases that it's much harder and less likely that schoolchildren will catch than HPV. (Yes, parents can always ask for a vaccine waiver on religious or other grounds.) I do dream of a day when Americans realize that hormones and human nature prompt teens to have sex, not contraception and sex education, and certainly not a shot you'd get at 10 that could save your life at 50.Saturday, January 14, 2006, 07:54 PM - Sex, Politics
It drives me batty that the most important image of women from either the Roberts or Alito hearings is Alito's wife crying. Is welling up the best way for me to influence the future of the Supreme Court?? When he's confirmed, and if he does help overturn Roe, I will certainly be crying my eyes out, given that I'd have to spend a huge chunk of my life dealing with state-level battles over the legality of abortion. If only my tears were so sympathy-provoking, and I could get them such good coverage. Just imagine what would have happened to his chances for confirmation had HE been the one crying. And maddeningly there's at least a chance that if I were being cross-examined in front of the world, I WOULD cry. Yet I think mine (and many women's) capacity to mix emotional and intellectual intensity is one of our strengths. I'm so curious as to whether her emotional display was deliberate - really a master stroke if it was. In personal relationships I can never quite be sure of how much my manifestation of gender is authentic and how much is strategic or performative in response to social norms (or for that matter how much I should enjoy and accept my undeniable response to the masculine- or be suspicious of it). Yesterday I went with the enjoyment option, and I can't say that I'm sad about it. I'll let you know when I quit my job to drive my daughter to swim practice, but don't hold your breath just yet.Tuesday, January 3, 2006, 05:49 PM - Sex, Friends
Today I found out someone I know just got a positive HIV test result; a frighteningly horrible way for him to start his new year. I never know whether to be more angry, sad, or astonished when this happens...I get angry that all my nagging to be careful didn't work, I am sad that so many of my friends have to have sex in a world where this is still such a risk, and astonished that we haven't made more progress (personally, socially, culturally). Did I mention the viciously angry reaction to people who deny their own reality or are too cavalier to protect their partners?? I'm frustrated at the way our efforts seem too often to leave the responsibility to NOT infect other people out of the discussion. All our work in HIV prevention, while I know to have had significant impact, is meaningless when it fails at the individual level, and all my social network disease theory and epidemiology wasn't enough for him. And for all that medicine offers growing hope to (first-world) people living with HIV, it can't touch the pain my friend is going through today.Wednesday, December 7, 2005, 06:11 PM - Sex, Politics
I don't know many republicans. I've had a couple of contrarian science-guy libertarians in my black book, maybe. But I met this man the other week, and of course because I was in SF I had no reason to suspect. Now I've made out with him (more than once, post-disclosure) and I'm having to ponder the previously unimaginable question of what one would do if one actually LIKED making out with a Republican. Is it morally indefensible? Just plan foolish? Apparently I am determined to truly test the limits of my romantic idealism. I know Leslie comes from a happpy, mixed (sane/insane) marriage, though it's always seemed like an untenable arrangement to me. Let's not forget that the last person I dated had the most impeccable political credentials and yet was a selfish nightmare...so perhaps a paradoxical response is just what's called for? Wednesday, November 30, 2005, 02:52 PM - Sex
Innocent voluptuousness? It just sums me up, doesn't it? That was a comment on the Song of Songs on Forum this morning- it's not often that I consider the similarities between the bible and myself. Despite repeated romantic disappointments and dramas I seem to always float dreamily back up to the surface of the ocean of optimism. Must be the same mechanism that allows me to maintain some faith in the inherent goodness of people despite being painfully aware of the horrors that surround us. Why I still take rides from strangers in a world with white phosphorous is beyond me. A strong arguement for temperament and some hardwired brain functions, I fear. But to whom can a sunny atheist give thanks for her happy disposition?Back Next
