Monday, November 7, 2005, 01:43 PM - Dancing, Technology
So it has to be a good sign that the auto-generated word that came up when I submitted this little project to google was "ravers", right? Oh, if I had only taken a screen shot. I guess it's possible they've gotten much farther ahead than I would have imagined with profiling my innermost characteristics....Monday, November 7, 2005, 01:36 PM
So I'm sure, absent reader, you've been wondering (?) where my feisty little title came from. There's nothing like misremembering lyrics to create an interesting confluence. I was one of the many enthralled by Dr. Atomic this fall, and have had the passage and music from Muriel Rukeyser's Easter Eve 1945 whispering in my head ever since.
Wary of time O it seizes the soul tonightBut of course I can't resist nastifying things a little... you wouldn't think I'd just take a Catholic poem at face value, would you?
I wait for the great morning of the west
confessing with every breath mortality
Moon of this wild sky struggles to stay whole
and on the water silvers the ships of war
I go alone in the black-yellow light
All night waiting for day, while everywhere the sure
death of light, the leaf’s sure return to the root
is repeated in million, death of all man to share.
Whatever world I know shines ritual death,
wide under this moon they stand gathering fire,
fighting with flame, stand fighting in their graves.
All shining with life as the leaf, as the wing shines,
the stone deep in the mountain, the drop in the green wave.
Lit by their energies, secretly, all things shine.
Nothing can black that glow of life; although
each part go crumbling down
itself shall rise up whole.
Now I say there are new meanings; now I name
death our black honor and feast of possibility
to celebrate casting of life on life. This earth-long day
between blood and resurrection where we wait
remembering sun, seed, fire; remembering
That fierce Judean Innocent who risked
every immortal meaning on one life.
Given to our year as sun and spirit are,
as seed we are blessed only in needing freedom.
Now I saw that the peace the spirit needs is peace,
not lack of war, but fierce continual flame.
For all men: effort is freedom, effort’s peace,
it fights. And alone these truths the soul goes home
Flies in its blazing to a place
More safe and round than Paradise.
Night of the soul, our dreams in the arms of dreams
dissolving into eyes that look upon us.
Dreams the sources of action, the meeting and the end,
a resting-place among the flight of things.
Muriel Rukeyser Dr. Atomic
Monday, November 7, 2005, 01:28 PM - Dancing, Friends
Made me very very happy. Who would have thought those Stanford GSB folks had it in them?? Susie, apparently, is a punk rocker now. Monday, November 7, 2005, 01:11 PM
At the Rickshaw Stop this Wednesday night. No small amount of transformation for the lineup, but you know Dan(i) will put on a great show...
And now it turns out that there's a Fatass show Thursday night at the Makeout. Mission rocker nostalgia frenzy!
Monday, November 7, 2005, 01:03 PM - Politics
So I am moderately frantic today about what will happen today with Prop 73....guardedly hopeful that California will step up and be the first place to defeat a parental notification measure. Interesting to note that folks are also playing up the possible stem cell research implications of the 'unborn' language in the proposition - I will take any reluctant libertarian or patient advocate we can get on this one....Stem Cell Research and Prop 73 Monday, November 7, 2005, 12:57 PM - Dancing
Yesterday went to see Bill Shannon perform at Headlands. Truly amazing to see someone developing a new dance lexicon based on creative adaptations of disability, with heavy influence of street dance/ skate culture...
Tragic and wonderful that the form is so specific to his particular flavor of physical problem- inspriring that he's created something so innovative and connected to contemporary american vernacular dance. Nothing better to play with one's internal prejudices about disability when you realize that the crippled guy is hot. (Wonder whatever happened to Melissa's brother??)
Bill Shannon More Bill Shannon
;)
Saturday, November 5, 2005, 12:51 PM - Books
despite the fact that it will no doubt leave my chest concave, as a reward/punishment I started Infinite Jest this morning. I am not quite enthralled just yet, but will let you know.Saturday, November 5, 2005, 12:46 PM - Sex
In my ongoing quest for self-knowledge and unpleasant conversations, I spent an hour last night discussing with the author of Monday's kissoff email:
a) how lame it was
b) why on earth he doesn't want to date me.
As you might expect, neither of these topics resulted in any sort of pleasant outcome, although it was cathartic to personally express how inappropriate I thought his communication strategy was. I can't tell if I'm proud of myself that I told him how much I disagreed with his decision, or if that just makes me a pathetic and unrealistic idiot.
I am left, sadly, with another example of someone checking out of a potential relationship. I am apparently not compelling enough to warrant investment of emotional energy. Of course, he's got plenty of external reasons why that's true, and it was interesting to track the thought process that drives emotional charge (I'm becoming more of a cognitivist all the time) but the outcome is still pretty stark.
And no, at the end of the discussion I was not feeling "huggy". More like assaultive and aroused, but apparently neither of those are options.
Seems like I should have pushed harder to develop a higher level of intimacy, but I think he's kidding himself to think that he wouldn't have bolted at the first sign of that. I know that I'm pretty guarded, but I don't think I was putting up barriers. I do think I could have engaged him more on his work stuff, which is a shame since I'm really quite interested in it. Silly me, I just wanted to make out. When will I ever learn???
Friday, November 4, 2005, 04:08 PM
So Adam and I walked into the bar at the Four Seasons last night, and the twinkling cocktail hour pianist was playing Don't Fear the Reaper. When did B.O.C. become the soundtrack for 5 star hotel bars??
Thursday, November 3, 2005, 01:05 PM - Food, Art
No, not the dead one. Last night failing (once again) to gain entry to the hallowed halls of A16 after Hannah's opening , we convinced the hostess at Mamacita (new, on Chestnut) that we were so friendly we should get in on their soft opening 'friends and family' dinner. Having a dissolute handsome Marina boy explain to me how authentic their dishes were was really entertaining, but things were quite delicious. Best were the vaguely Thai chilaquiles, the mahi mahi ceviche ceviche, the pomegranate margaritas, and of course it's hard to go wrong with carnitas tacos.
Hannah Henry still and moving pictures
;)
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