Wednesday, November 30, 2005, 02:52 PM - Sex
Innocent voluptuousness? It just sums me up, doesn't it? That was a comment on the Song of Songs on Forum this morning- it's not often that I consider the similarities between the bible and myself. Despite repeated romantic disappointments and dramas I seem to always float dreamily back up to the surface of the ocean of optimism. Must be the same mechanism that allows me to maintain some faith in the inherent goodness of people despite being painfully aware of the horrors that surround us. Why I still take rides from strangers in a world with white phosphorous is beyond me. A strong arguement for temperament and some hardwired brain functions, I fear. But to whom can a sunny atheist give thanks for her happy disposition?Wednesday, November 16, 2005, 02:19 PM - Sex, Politics
So the NYT put the Plan B ridiculousness on the front page yesterday, but this is just the latest example of the blatant disregard for public health within this administration. It's pathetically ironic that they could actually REDUCE the number of abortions that happen by actively promoting the morning-after pill, yet they're so thoroughly anti-sex that they're unwilling to do so. The CDC's domestic and USAID's international HIV prevention efforts are less egregiously but still seriously stifled - where is the public support for needle exchange? Where is the honest acknowledgement of the complexity of sexual health? I'm terrified of what this means for our bioterrorism preparations - will we start giving purity tests before we hand out bird flu vaccine? Apparently there is a "Plan B for Plan B Act for 2005" being introduced in congress by CT's Chris Shays among others, but I can't find much in print on it - maybe just a clever pun? The article on it seems to have disappeared from Broadsheet...Saturday, November 5, 2005, 12:46 PM - Sex
In my ongoing quest for self-knowledge and unpleasant conversations, I spent an hour last night discussing with the author of Monday's kissoff email:
a) how lame it was
b) why on earth he doesn't want to date me.
As you might expect, neither of these topics resulted in any sort of pleasant outcome, although it was cathartic to personally express how inappropriate I thought his communication strategy was. I can't tell if I'm proud of myself that I told him how much I disagreed with his decision, or if that just makes me a pathetic and unrealistic idiot.
I am left, sadly, with another example of someone checking out of a potential relationship. I am apparently not compelling enough to warrant investment of emotional energy. Of course, he's got plenty of external reasons why that's true, and it was interesting to track the thought process that drives emotional charge (I'm becoming more of a cognitivist all the time) but the outcome is still pretty stark.
And no, at the end of the discussion I was not feeling "huggy". More like assaultive and aroused, but apparently neither of those are options.
Seems like I should have pushed harder to develop a higher level of intimacy, but I think he's kidding himself to think that he wouldn't have bolted at the first sign of that. I know that I'm pretty guarded, but I don't think I was putting up barriers. I do think I could have engaged him more on his work stuff, which is a shame since I'm really quite interested in it. Silly me, I just wanted to make out. When will I ever learn???
Tuesday, November 1, 2005, 01:40 AM - Sex
Perhaps I should just add an email breakup form right here? Would that be more convenient for you, dear reader - at least a dropdown menu with "dumping you" as a choice?? I admit it, I think it's bad form to dump someone you've had sex with over email. I mean, it's not like I'm your girlfriend, I'm not going to scream at you or throw shit or anything, at least pick up the fucking phone. Of course it's far easier to displace my hurt feelings onto the form, rather than acknowledge the unpleasantness of the content, but I do think that these things make a difference. And please don't pretend that you'd like to be friends with me if you can't even get it up for a phone call.Monday, October 31, 2005, 01:02 AM - Sex
Really the last thing that I thought would happen with this year's costume was that I would get any play. Despite my gleefully ghoulish self-presentation, I got lots of attention - the highlight being sweet sparkly glitter indian Manual licking the fake blood off of my bottom lip. It was fun to listen to Andrew glance over at me and say 'you look great' and then watch him try to qualify that with 'I mean you look horrible. But really good.' I never really imagined that sex and death would be so blatantly intertwined with just a little pallor and some extra eyeliner...but it makes all the waif models and heroin chic infinitely more understandable. Kind of disturbing that so many people are into dead chicks, but fascinating to think about working the undead angle to sexual advantage. Zombies unite?Back
